Category Archives: Rants and Raves

Never Let Your Fear Decide Your Fate

Going out on a limb. Taking a risk. Trying something new. Following your calling.

They all sound so romantic when you read about someone else doing it. When it is you, it takes a lot more guts. Britton and I really have a good life here in Colorado. We have relatively high paying and highly esteemed careers, we have a house, car, extra houses, extra cars, friends, family. We have time on our hands. We are fairly healthy, happy and numbingly comfortable.

So why leave it? Some people have asked, or rather, told us. Why leave a good thing? And logically, I really don’t know. I mean we have everything “they” tell you we should aspire to have. Everything the school system and the government and our parents and everyone with a stake in “us” turning out to be productive people said we should try to be. And we have. We are!

And yet.

And yet there is something that pulls me -us- out of the comfortable. That says that excitement will not be found in doing the usual. That growth and adventure do not lie in the routine. That there is more to life than being a cog in that same system that had a hand in making us one. But it is oh, so hard to let go once “you have it made”. Or at least it is for us.

We have some idea what our life will look like when we move to our property in Rincon, Puerto Rico. But not a whole lot. Anything is possible. It is much less predicable. Here in Greeley, on the other hand, I know exactly what to expect more or less. Little things change, but for the most part, life will go on exactly as it did last year and the year(s) before that and so on.

And so.

And so there is something inside of me that says: “There is more out there in the world for you to uncover. You have played this game, you have passed this level. You are ready for a new adventure.You have even set yourself up so that it is very unlikely to fail at the next game. Why are you scared?!”

This is a part of my lesson that I must do to learn: To never let my fear decide my fate.

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Taxes Hurt!

We just talked with our accountant and he said that we are going to have to shell out quite the check to the Federal and State governments. This is mainly due to the sale of our rental house last May. While we still came out ahead, it is REALLY expensive to sell a house especially if it is not your primary residence. Ultimately where we thought we had a nice profit margin from the sale, we are only walking away with about 40% of that. Sixty cents of every dollar we made went to either tax, fixing it up for the FHA requirements or the realtors and closing costs! That is insane!

property-tax-bill

We were bracing for this tax bill ever since we sold it, but it still hurts when the time comes. I can see why the government does tax withholding on labor income because even though we paid way more than this amount throughout the whole year in automatic withdrawals (from our employment), it hurts a lot more to just write the big check all at once.

The thing about taxes is that it pays for many good and important things in society, but your contribution just feels like one of many and the roads and schools and things would still be there if you weren’t there (or hadn’t sold a house). Unlike a direct purchase where you get to use it right away and see its direct effects, taxes are much more ephemeral.

As it might be fun to get a little card in the mail like those programs in Africa where you feed a child and they send a note from a full-bellied child thanking you for your donation, it would be nice to get a thank you card that says “so and so street was built due to your generous tax contributions” or “this and that fire station” or “some war was paid for because of you” (well maybe not that one so much). But you get the idea.

Oh well, it’s a part of society and as they say there is nothing certain about life except death and taxes. In the mean time, I am dropping the Rincon progress vine down just a bit to adjust for this big bill. :-p We’ll make it up, we always do, it just hurts for a while. And we can’t lose the perspective that we still made money on the whole thing. Just not nearly as much as we thought.

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A Year and A Day? Or Do it Anyway?

Well I have just about rounded out my stressful on-call week and I turn the pager over on Monday.  I had a Saturday upgrade that went flawlessly, which is a good feeling and proof of my accomplishments thus far in learning an entirely new language (TACL) as well as all the intricate goings on for the custom applications the company I work for has developed.   Most of the information isn’t attainable except thru doing and it’s been the most challenging position I’ve ever taken on.  It will feel  WONDERFUL to hand over on-call come Monday and have my after work life back for a week.  To do things like see the sky, mow the lawn, do the dishes…You know, the basics.  I took on the challenge for a few reasons, one was because I knew I could do it and another was for the experience of doing it.  Not to just say things are “stressful” but to know how that feels.  Not only to say I took on a challenge but to go thru that expeirence and come out on the other side of it.  It may just be that it’s time to let those experiences go, and take on something new again.


What the Feeling of Freedom Might Look Like

This is an interesting feeling for me because when I can go for a walk and see the sky it feels…well I feel totally and comletely free again.   The juxtaposition of these two mental states is drastic.

This past week has been challenging not only for me, but for Cassie as well.  I’d say we have come the closest to pulling the “GTFO lever” we have been so far.   This is a good thing, as it means we are ready not only financially but also mentally for the transformation/graduation into our new lives.   We are at the point where our minds are picking out signs from the universe that our new program has been developed and is ready to run.

The program has been developed and ready to run“: I have had the strange belief that our environment is simply a software program since I was little and that when a person goes on vacation, it is just a new “level” in the game.   When you go to new places it takes time to get there because it has to be created or developed before you arrive.  All the people, places, plants, roads and everything in your story that makes up our reality has to be created first.

So I think the program is set.  We have decided that we can stick it out longer if we want, but if we continue to have these discussions at a serious level that we have been, that we can go at any time.   One of the signs the universe has given us lately is a video we saw online (thanks Claire!).  It speaks to us because there are so many reasons that we can come up with to wait and plan more, and save more, and talk about more but really when you get down to it, we should just DO IT ANYWAY!

If you’re paralyzed by the voice in your head,
It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead.
Go on and … do it anyway.
Do it anyway.

check it out the video below:

The comments made on the previous post are wonderful and we thank those who give us feedback!  We don’t really have a reason not to, except that we don’t want to give up the opportunity for saving more “goal fodder” as I call it.  Otherwise known as money.  That however has become less important, especially when work gets us down in the dumps.

Call it surrender, but you know that it’s a joke
And the punchline is you were actually never in control
But still, surrender anyway…

We want to leave on our own wishes with a feeling of preparedness and that we are looking forward to our new lives, not that we got pushed out by our old.  We will continue to push forward, it’s getting close though…Very close! We have set a drop dead date of October 15, 2013 which is a year and a day from today. I think we have come to the conclusion that it can be any time between now and then! So watch out world, here we come!

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Why Pitbulls Have (and Deserve) A Vicious Reputation

Last night Britton and I were taking our evening walk around Ramseier Farm Park and around our neighborhood as we do most nights. As we rounded the corner on the east side of the neighborhood this big, snarling dog bounded up at us and started to try and take Britton down. I could tell by the shape of its head that it was a pitbull. Britton managed to punch it in the head which dazed it, but not before it put a deep puncture bite into his calf and a smaller bite in his hand. It turned to try and attack me, but by then the owner had reached it and it just rolled over for her -nice as can be.


Brit Bit By Pit

The owner was chasing it all over trying to reign it in and saw everything that had happened. She was profusely apologetic and said it had just escaped and had never bitten anyone before. We take walks a lot and have had a lot of dogs come up to us…some friendly and some not. We’ve even had little Chihuahuas try and bite at our ankles. But never have we had our fight or flight response turned on so high as when this Pitbull was going for the kill. It was literally trying to jump for Britton’s neck to take him down. Thankfully BK punched it and I don’t think the pit saw that coming.

Now I know a lot of people say that it’s not the dog’s fault. That any dog can or could bite. And that’s true. But the difference is that some dogs were bred this way -that is to say- are genetically different than other dogs when it comes to aggression and being dangerous. Pitbulls like Dobermans, Rottweilers and German Shepherds and others, were bred to be protectors and quick to attack. Other breeds were made to fetch things (retrievers), others have a heightened sense of smell (hounds), some are runners (greyhounds), or herd animals and others just lay around (like Schnoodle). If you want to see what the best breed of dog would be for your lifestyle check out this dog breed questionnaire.

According to these breed sites, it describes the Pitbull breeds in this way: “original purpose: dog fighting, bullbaiting”, characterized by “powerful jaws”, “aggressive disposition towards other animals”,  “devoted breed”, “stubborn, tenacious, fearless”. For those of you who don’t know what bull baiting is, bull baiting was a blood sport that lasted through the 1800’s in which they would tie a bull cow in a ring or pit (hence the name pit bull terrier) often spraying it with hot pepper to enrage it and then they would set the dogs on the bull. The dogs would jump at the bull until they latched on with their teeth and shook and ripped at it until they brought the bull down dead. They were encouraged to jump at the bull’s snout and rip it off. Yah, the descendants of those are the dogs in our neighborhoods. Pretty gruesome. And we wonder why they attack?

These traits certainly can be reinforced and maybe slightly lessened through the owner’s actions, but they are as inherent as the dog’s need for food. Right now, the current dog du jour for people who want to look tough, feel protected and who like a dog that can last in a fight is the pitbull. But with a dog that is inherently more vicious than say -a Sheltie- the owner must be more -NOT LESS- careful with it and held accountable for their dogs’ actions. It’s what you take on when you have ANY animal under your care. But pitbulls are so dangerous, they probably shouldn’t even be in a neighborhood -especially with little children. They should be placed only where their inherent traits are needed and carefully watched -like maybe as a night junk yard dog. And I would only say maybe even there.

Now, what may come as a surprise to you as I say all of this is that I had a pitbull of my own when I was just a kid. His name was Beauregard and he was the best, most loyal dog I ever had.


Beau loved and guarded me. He even slept with me. And we got him when I was just 3 years old

He loved and protected me beyond measure for pitbulls were also bred to be fiercely loyal. But the key word is Fierce. While he never, ever hurt me, he did try to take down the mailman, the neighborhood kids, and when my brother was born, Beau bit at Justin in the face (but my mom said he didn’t get an actual bite in). Nevertheless, we had never trained him to bite. We had never encouraged this behavior. We had trained him to heel and stay. We had him neutered. But the urge to “protect” was so ingrained, this could not be broken even when it was on our own new family member -a newborn baby! That was when my parents knew they had to get rid of Beau. They took him to a place about 5 miles away. And he RAN all the way back to our house. I remember that he had bloody paws when he arrived from running so far. That is how loyal they are to their owners. Finally they were able to bring him to someone where he would not be able to get out.

Then fast forward. My brother when he was about 16 brought home a pitbull as well. And so now to this day my mom has to take care of his dog, Buddy. Same story. A sweet dog. Neutered. Trained. And yet this dog has killed my mom’s cats. Bitten off the leg of another of her dogs in the various dog fights they get into over food or whatever and cannot be left alone with other animals for fear of the next snap.

So it is not out of exaggerated fear that I say Pitbulls are vicious animals. They just are. And it’s not their fault. It’s not even the fault of the owners except that they choose to own such a dog with an obviously known bad reputation and this keeps the market demand for them up. But it’s really the fault of the breeders who make such a breed that is not really needed in this day and age. A breed that while fiercely loyal can also turn fiercely vicious on a dime. We’ve seen (in the terrible dog fights between Buddy and my mom’s other dogs) how they just will not let go once they have a bite hold -no matter what. Some call this a locked jaw but really it’s just a pure powerful will of the dog to not let go of the victim (because in a fight with a bull or a bear, letting go could mean being thrown off with force).

And yes, this could be many other guard dog breeds, but because Pitbulls are the current trendy macho fighting dog, that’s what we see the most. And it’s why when we get attacked by one on the street we call the police. So if you choose to have a Pitbull (or any other vicious breed) there is a much greater likelihood of liability on your part. Usually homeowner insurance is higher if you own a vicious dog. Often places will not rent to someone with a dangerous dog breed. Your children or their friends could be seriously injured or killed. And your neighbors will resent its presence. Overall it is just not a good idea. So when someone says it’s not the breed, I have to wholeheartedly disagree.

As for Britton and this bite. We called the Greeley police. The Greeley animal control officer said that this particular pitbull will be put in quarantine for 10 days to check for rabies and we will be notified either way of the outcome. Britton is going to watch the wound and may go to the doctor depending on how it heals. The dog and owner’s info will also be put into the system in case of any other attacks. We decided at this point to not press charges. We just hope the owner learns from this and that it never happens again (and hopefully removes this dog from our neighborhood!). This could have been a devastating incident if one of the many children in our neighborhood had been in Britton’s place. So we are thankful it was not any worse.

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