It’s been about a month and a half since my dad passed away.  In that time I wouldn’t say that time has necessarily healed me, but I do start to feel the separation between my dad and I drifting farther and farther away as if we were holding hands in two separate boats and were pulled apart in different directions. As I watch it slowly float away all I can think is how to bring it back together. But it cannot be brought together. That time is gone…

But is it? I still have really vivid dreams with my dad in them and strange occurances happening although not as often as early on. Maybe they are just my mind trying to cope with this loss, or maybe there is something else out there? Maybe there is more to life than just life? I mean, what is the point of inhabiting a body for this short amount of time (in the long scheme of things) for it only to die permanently? If we ask ‘what is death?’, then we would have to ask, ‘what is life?’

Could it be that our consciousness, our strong belief in this physical body reality, limits us from experiencing the unconscious crazy limitless universe -that we actually experience every night in our dreams when we sleep?

This morning I heard my dad talking with me, really faintly as I was in a dozy state of in-between sleep and waking. I asked him to talk more clearly, and he did, but I ended up deep in a dream. Is there something to that? Could it be that access to that “side” is limited to when we are in a subconscious state? Are we cut off from that side of things because we are so tied to believing in this conscious life of the tangible and concrete?

Isn’t it true that everything we know to be real and tangible is but a fleeting moment? A type of energy? Everything we are and see started as a form energy. Most of it from the sun. Our bodies are made of water, and oxygen and the sun. We eat the plants that absorb the sun, and the animals that eat the plants. We are part of that cycle. And if energy never dies only transfers, then what happens when a body does? How do we even begin to understand what this all is?

Could it be that we are just spirits in the material world trying to figure this stuff out?