Well I have just about rounded out my stressful on-call week and I turn the pager over on Monday.  I had a Saturday upgrade that went flawlessly, which is a good feeling and proof of my accomplishments thus far in learning an entirely new language (TACL) as well as all the intricate goings on for the custom applications the company I work for has developed.   Most of the information isn’t attainable except thru doing and it’s been the most challenging position I’ve ever taken on.  It will feel  WONDERFUL to hand over on-call come Monday and have my after work life back for a week.  To do things like see the sky, mow the lawn, do the dishes…You know, the basics.  I took on the challenge for a few reasons, one was because I knew I could do it and another was for the experience of doing it.  Not to just say things are “stressful” but to know how that feels.  Not only to say I took on a challenge but to go thru that expeirence and come out on the other side of it.  It may just be that it’s time to let those experiences go, and take on something new again.

What the Feeling of Freedom Might Look Like

This is an interesting feeling for me because when I can go for a walk and see the sky it feels…well I feel totally and comletely free again.   The juxtaposition of these two mental states is drastic.

This past week has been challenging not only for me, but for Cassie as well.  I’d say we have come the closest to pulling the “GTFO lever” we have been so far.   This is a good thing, as it means we are ready not only financially but also mentally for the transformation/graduation into our new lives.   We are at the point where our minds are picking out signs from the universe that our new program has been developed and is ready to run.

“The program has been developed and ready to run“: I have had the strange belief that our environment is simply a software program since I was little and that when a person goes on vacation, it is just a new “level” in the game.   When you go to new places it takes time to get there because it has to be created or developed before you arrive.  All the people, places, plants, roads and everything in your story that makes up our reality has to be created first.

So I think the program is set.  We have decided that we can stick it out longer if we want, but if we continue to have these discussions at a serious level that we have been, that we can go at any time.   One of the signs the universe has given us lately is a video we saw online (thanks Claire!).  It speaks to us because there are so many reasons that we can come up with to wait and plan more, and save more, and talk about more but really when you get down to it, we should just DO IT ANYWAY!

If you’re paralyzed by the voice in your head,
It’s the standing still that should be scaring you instead.
Go on and … do it anyway.
Do it anyway.

check it out the video below:

The comments made on the previous post are wonderful and we thank those who give us feedback!  We don’t really have a reason not to, except that we don’t want to give up the opportunity for saving more “goal fodder” as I call it.  Otherwise known as money.  That however has become less important, especially when work gets us down in the dumps.

Call it surrender, but you know that it’s a joke
And the punchline is you were actually never in control
But still, surrender anyway…

We want to leave on our own wishes with a feeling of preparedness and that we are looking forward to our new lives, not that we got pushed out by our old.  We will continue to push forward, it’s getting close though…Very close! We have set a drop dead date of October 15, 2013 which is a year and a day from today. I think we have come to the conclusion that it can be any time between now and then! So watch out world, here we come!