Our rentals have been giving us a lot of grief lately. We have new tenants who are “complainers”. No matter what we do, they are not happy. They call or text us at 10pm to tell us about some trivial thing. We also have another house that was left abandoned with no notice at all. So now, we are trying to sort all of this out. I’ve written a little poem so you can see some of what we have to deal with. I know that it often seems from our blog like it’s easy parcheesi to be a landlord, but it takes a lot of guts to get into the business of providing a home for someone. Whether you like it or not, you get dragged into their drama. Let’s hope things get back on track soon. Until then, here is my lament 🙂

Landlord Lament
By Cassie Kauffman

Oh, whoa is the rollercoaster
Of landlordship these days
One minute all the stars align
The next you’re in a haze

Of complaints and gripes
For which you had no clue
A broken lock, a missing wire
A  smell, a crack, a leak or two

“The crawl space is dirty”
What do you expect with a dirt floor?
“The house creaks a bit”
It’s old I’m surprised there’s not more.

“There’s a gross smell”
I don’t smell anything
“Well, it’s not right now but wait”
This house is nice and clean

“I know we signed a contract but…”
A lease is there for a reason
“Well, can we change it now?”
No, you’ll have to wait a year season

“I had to unexpectedly move out east”
The house is considered abandoned now
“You have the deposit to cover the rent”
That is plain wrong and not how it works, anyhow

“Here’s my application. I really like the house”
It looks as though you don’t have any money to put down
“It’s fine, trust us, won’t you just let us live here?
No, we have to make sure this deal is sound

“But my pet isn’t like other people’s”
I’m sure you’re very good with your dog or cat
“So can I avoid the pet deposit fee?”
No, we’ve been burned before so that’s that.

“I don’t think we’ll have the money this month”
I don’t know what to say, you need to pay
“We had an emergency, a job loss, a sorrow”
I am so sorry to hear, but you just can’t stay

In the end, the landlord must remember
That this is a business as well as a home
You must temper sympathy with smarts
Or each month a new lament will come