With all the destruction that the fires caused this summer, you would think it would be enough tragedy for Colorado. But then this horrible shooting occurred in Aurora. It brings back memories of the Columbine shooting when I was freshly out of high school. These types of attacks are the most cruel because we can all imagine mindlessly going about our day only to be thrust without warning into facing the fragility that is life.

Of course this also reopens the ongoing political discussions of gun control, the influence of the media and our desensitivity to violence and the lack of psychiatric/mental health care in this country. But to me, it also opens the question of who we are as a society. For how we handle crises most directly demonstrates our character.

In Colorado, like most of the United States, we still believe in the Wild West fantasy: the rugged individualist a la John Wayne who is completely self-sustainable and would never accept help from others, the humble hero whose compass steers him to protect law and order and -perhaps rather ironically- unlimited freedom. All of this, of course, is just a fantasy, but like other fantasies, it has come to dominate most political and social discussions.

I recently read an interesting post from an American who travels the world and had quite a few observations about America that may be difficult to see when you are actually living here. Because when you are living it, it seems just normal.

It often takes an outside perspective to help us to understand and address our own problems. I haven’t traveled nearly as much as I would like and as we are planning to after we move to Puerto Rico, but I have noticed that in other countries the fantasy of the rugged individualist or individualism at all costs is often usurped by family and community. In other countries, security is not something that someone in the household (usually the man) has a burden to carry; it is something that the whole community embraces. People are not as routinely and indifferently locked up as they are here. The community takes responsibility, not just the individual. And people are often not as isolated and left to plan revenge or seek fame and attention through these destructive means. They are often visited, folded into the community, and given the care they need.

And yes our national character was developed over a long time and for good reason: people often had to make it on their own. Our language reflects these cultural values: “Pull yourself up by the bootstrap”, “Sink or Swim”, “Don’t be a drain on society”, “Be a star”, “Stand out”, “If you want something done right, do it yourself”, “It’s my choice”, “It’s none of your business”, “I can take care of myself”, etc. Even the dominate religion emphasizes a personal relationship with an individual hero/sacrificing God -not a community relationship with a community God/s. Our fictional heroes are similar -lone vigilantes: Superman, Batman, Spiderman and the like. And the biggest political insult you can lobby at someone is to call them a socialist or communist.

But what was lost in the trade for individualism at all cost was the bigger view of society, of community, of our sense of place in the world, of family, of a different type of security. And so we see the results of this culture. While we have the most individually celebrated celebrities -movie stars, sports stars, musicians- and innovators and richest CEOs in the world, we also have the most incarcerations of any country -in fact, we have about a quarter of the WORLD’S prisoners!. We have the most nuclear weapons and weapons of mass destruction of any country. We have the most guns per capita. We have been involved in just about every war without much of a break since before our country began. Our quest for power, individualism and security has resulted in becoming one of the most violent -and lets face it, monitored and controlled- nations in the world.

Of course, random acts of violence like the theater shooting could and still do occur in other countries. What surprises me, though, is our level of tolerance for it and our ability to just blame the shooter, wait for justice -on the individual level only- enhance security and monitoring procedures and go on with our lives -individually. But there is a feeling, an underlying pull I think, for us to all come together and discuss these heinous acts and take some collective responsibility, but under the American lens through which we see the world, it seems impossible.

However, though we may not (yet!) be able to greatly change the larger construction of our cultural character, through the Colorado fires and this shooting we have had a chance to feel community and show the best of our character.  The truth is, that in our society, we ARE a collection of people. There is not just one superhero, or even villain. We all contribute to the whole.

And we’ve seen that. No matter the conditioning, it is the human condition to feel for others. The outpouring of love and sympathy to those affected has been tremendous. People have given support in whatever way possible. They have shown appreciation for the police, emergency room doctors, firemen, etc. Through these crises, we have been able to come together- to regain some sense of our belonging to a community, rather than just our own personal selfish narratives in our head. We feel for someone else. And because of these types of tragedies,  we do have the platform to have these conversations as a cohesive unit.

In the end, I would say that our cultural character has its faults, but deep down we know how to come together for a cause when it is necessary.  It has been a hard summer for Colorado, but the silver lining is that it has brought out the love that is in our hearts -both individually and as a community. Please keep Colorado in your heart and mind throughout this difficult time.