Tag Archives: filling a void

Freefall

Everyone talks about making the jump. The big change. But what is often missed in these stories is the freefall, that period of limbo between making the decision to do something and landing in your new world. The freefall after a parachute jump (I have heard) is actually the most ecstasy-inducing experience. The fear of the jump is over and for those blissful few moments, you float in another world between one and the next.

For Lease
For lease!

That’s sort of where we are right now. On Tuesday I gathered up the courage to approach my supervisor and tell him that we are moving. That my last day at work will be September 20. Like climbing the ladder to the jump off the high dive, I noticed that my fear was in the build-up. Once I had done it, I was falling into a whole new experience. One where I know I will be safe and the fun is still to come.

Lazy Kitty
Kitty knows how to relax 🙂

In just this first week that Britton has been off work we have accomplished a lot!  Britton took Kitty in for his check-up and shots (the first time in about 9 years!!). We have thoroughly cleaned out the whole house, signed the paperwork to get it placed for rent, and had our first showing! And we have begun looking at airfare to buy our tickets. As for “stuff”, we are down to just two chairs and the TV. We have dropped off two more large trash bags full of clothes and things to Goodwill. And our folks have graciously held on to some of our sentimental items like photo albums. We have even sold our kitchen table and are using a card table to eat.

Glass table
Bye kitchen table of 10 years!

It is a strange place, the freefall. The transition. At work, they are already talking about hiring my position and it makes me feel strange. I think it must be that for eight years, this job has been tied up in my identity. It is how I have introduced myself many times. My little niche in the world. And just like that I can be replaced. It also brings up feelings of loss and loss-aversion. I am going to miss all my co-workers, friends and family. And we are basically taking a 90% paycut to live our dream. But when you put it into perspective, when you have what you need, when you have ENOUGH, it is by far more expensive to continue to just wish you were living the dream instead of actually doing it.

Britton said he felt this way too his last few weeks at work, but that once he was done and had walked away, the world has now opened up into this new space of creation. He feels anything is possible. It is pretty cool and weird to have a nearly empty house, and an empty yard now that the chickens have a new home as well.

chickens
Chickens loaded up to go to their new home

But every time there is emptiness or vacancy, every time there is a blank canvas, there is the power to fill, the power to create. No void or vacuum ever stays that way for long. And so when we land from this freefall, we will look around and say: What a trip!

And where do we start.

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Clearing Space and Filling It

These next few months will be all about clearing out our space in order to move into a new one (even more than we have in previous purges). And I don’t just mean physically, but also figuratively. Physically we have to sell, give away, donate, pack or toss almost all of our belongings. But as we do this, we are also figuratively making space for new things to move into it.

I think we all know the feeling of clearing off a table only for more things -keys, coins, papers, etc- to “magically” creep onto it again. We have to constantly keep a check on our space to make sure it holds what we want it to. In the same way, we must do that with our lives and what we bring in it: people, money, jobs, hobbies, our thoughts, our dreams, our purpose! Nothing stays a void very long. We are constantly filling and refilling. Creating and re-creating.

Often our physical artifacts are representations of our thought realm. When we aren’t careful and selective, it can be become cluttered -a mess. We must be careful what we bring into our lives- our home, our mind, our body – so that it will be a true reflection of what you want to see, to be.

And so in this way, it has been a real re-awakening to what is important to us, especially when we got new carpet and had to move everything that had been in every room. Most of our “stuff” really is just stuff. They are representations of things that were once important to us, and some of what still is. But most of it is not necessary in our transition to what we really want, and where we really want to be: which is 3000 miles away on four jungled acres in a tucked away surf town on a Caribbean isle.

I think we are coming close to a point where we will be looking more at what we want/need to take with us instead of what needs to be discarded. For instance, this is the list of things we will take so far:

Kumquat and Mexicola
The two plants I’d like to take

Clothing– we will need a little clothing to get us started. And most of my jewelry because it is small, easy to take and a lot have meaning (like our wedding rings for example).
Sentimental items– some physical photographs/albums, journals, small gifts, small wall decor items
Computer/lap top– for our music, files, blog, and digital photos
Paperwork-like licenses, titles, taxes, identification
Kitty- We have chosen to take Kitty. It will be a mini-adventure for sure to take our cat with us. And through his eyes we will see our reactions somewhat mirrored
A couple of houseplants– I would like to take our Mexicola avocado plant that I grew from seed and a kumquat tree.
Bikes -We are not sure on this one. I love my beach cruiser and it would be perfect in Rincon, but is it worth shipping? Same thing with Britton’s mtn bike. It is old but reliable.
Guitar/bass- We will probably be using a lot more acoustic instruments like bongo drums and acoustic guitars, but this perhaps will be a sentimental item for BK to bring. He is selling his amp, however, which will literally clear a lot of space.

Marshall Vintage
Amp for sale!

I think these are good representations for what we are bringing into this new space that we will be creating. Our knowledge, history and experiences. Responsibility. Living things. Love. Music. Hobbies and interests. Health.

In 7 short months, we will be walking into a new space and filling it with the building blocks of a new, exciting adventure. And we are thrilled!

Rincon House Fish Eye
Thanks to Linda for capturing this fish-eye picture of our place in Rincon!

 

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