Monthly Archives: September 2018

Without Love, Where Would You Be Now?

The Doobie Brothers song, Long Train Running, became the soundtrack and mantra for the birth of our son. There was a documentary about the Doobie Brothers that we watched in the hospital after his birth and that particular song just worked its way into our subconscious. The question kept repeating: Without love, where would you be now? Through the long cold steel tracks of life that long train running brings us many places, but without love, where would we be now?

A week after the blessed birth of our son Aeden I became very ill and had to be hospitalized for 4 days due to a partially retained placenta. A fever developed that shot to 104 F and I lost so much blood that I was on watch for cardiac arrest and needed two blood transfusions, an iron infusion, IV antibiotics and a surgery under general anesthesia.


Lots of pokes, tests and prods

After some very scary moments on the line between this world and the next, we are now hopeful that we are in the clear and that my condition has improved. I am recuperating currently and finally have had a chance to give an update. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the village that came together behind the scenes to help our little family through this very rough time. If it weren’t for this crew of amazing people, I am not sure how we would have made it through.

First of all, thank you Britton for being there in the “sickness” part of sickness and in health. You have been extremely strong through this period that could break most people. I love you so, so much.


Britton is a great dad!

Thank you Missy, Ben, and even little Juliana for taking in a newborn, our precious baby, feeding him and loving him when we could not have him. Not many people would open their homes and hearts in such a way. Thank you to Missy for also rallying the troops for even more help. She kept us in communication, checked on us, provided us with supplies and so many other things. I do not know what we would have done without you when we were desperate standing at the emergency room door and they wouldn’t let Britton and I enter with our baby.


With Missy and Ben (and little Lucia)

Thank you to Megan and Kat who nourished us and our baby and provided us with extra breast milk when we had none. Thank you for everything else you did behind the scenes. Thank you to the fairy sprites Joanne and Francine (who I still have yet to meet) for cleaning our house and providing us with food and encouraging words. Thank you Jo for also making sure I made it to the hospital and making a special trip for the breast pump. After our ordeal it was so nice to walk into a clean house rather than the disaster we had left it when we rushed off.

Thank you to Ricia for washing our clothes and linens as well as the food and other supplies that have helped in my recovery. Thank you to Laura for the visits to the hospital, the food and the supplies we forgot in the hustle and bustle (like towels and pillows). Thank you to my family especially my mom Charlotte and aunt Annie who flew a long, long way to see me and make sure that I was alright. Thank you to Bill and Jenn for being in constant contact with us, the hospital visits and the smorgasbord of food when I was finished with surgery and doped up on morphine. Thank you to Brittany, Missy’s long distance ER doctor friend, who walked us through the steps and urged us into action or calmed us when it wasn’t needed. Thank you also to my friend Lisa who is a nurse and also encouraged me to seek medial help. Thank you to the medical staff at Mayaguez Medical Center. Thank you to the nameless people who donated the life-saving blood.

Blood transfusion

Thank you to Britton’s side of the family and everyone who wished us well and prayed for my recovery. I felt very loved in my darkest moments. Please forgive me if I missed someone in this list; it was quite the whirlwind. But know that you are appreciated! We may not have village tribes per se anymore in our modern world, but this was a shining example of the power of love when people come together to help one another. Without love, I don’t know where I would be right now, but it is possible my train may have stopped. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!


Back at home recovering and bonding with our baby

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We Had Our Baby in Puerto Rico!!!

Bienvenido al mundo, Aeden Kauffman!!


Aeden’s First Day

Well as it turns out Aeden decided to show up 2 weeks early.  We were about to go to bed at around 11pm on the 13th and Cassie’s water broke.  We weren’t exactly sure what to do as this was our first time having a baby, well I wasn’t sure.  My instincts were to run to the hospital right away.

Cassie was a bit more collected and wanted to stay at home as long as possible so she didn’t have to endure the hospital procedures and doctors.  After having been through this now I TOTALLY understand that desire.  We had some friends come over in the middle of the night to help us assess the situation.  Bill Kersch was here in an instant and like me, was ready to go to the hospital.  Bill phoned another friend Vivian who works as a doula here in town.

They both trekked thru the forest at night with me to get to the cabin.  Vivian checked on Cassie while Bill and I were talking, or actually freaking out a little in the living room.  Vivian confirmed what Cassie had told me earlier, that indeed the process was starting but we could wait a while before leaving for the hospital to deliver but that we would most likely see our little guy sometime that day.

Cassie’s contractions started at around 10 minutes apart and by 5ish in the morning were down 5 minutes then down to 3 minutes apart.  We decided it was time to go!  We walked up and out of the cabin and property, loaded into the Mustang with her pre-packed suitcase and bag of towels, sheets and pillows and headed out as the sun was coming up.

The drive to the hospital was beautiful!  Just a picture perfect vibrant tropical morning, well except for the painful contractions Cassie was going through in the cramped seat of the Mustang….  The drive took about 45 minutes and we checked Cassie into the ER at Pediatric San Antonio Hospital in Mayaguez.


Pediatric San Antonio Hospital in Mayaguez

Luckily we had visited the hospital before going so we knew where to go, that helped tremendously in the stress department.  Plus as you can see in the photo the hospital doesn’t even look like a traditional hospital so it would have been hectic to find.

As it turns out, Cassie was right and waiting at home for the contractions to get closer was the absolute right thing to do.  Waiting in a hospital is the worst part of the whole process and showing up as close to active labor as one can removes those hours of added discomfort and less chance of intrusive medical procedures (like pitocin to speed up the labor!).  Our friend Missy helped out with everything and we really appreciated her interaction with the over reactive, standard process trained nurses.  Missy has a lot of personal experience to share.


Missy with Cassie Trying to Stay Warm in the Hospital

The nurses at the hospital thought this was going to be one of those 12 hour labors, but we surprised them.  We got to the hospital at about 6am and delivered at 9:30am.  She was dilated at 3cm so they thought there was “plenty of time”.  The doctor wasn’t even on-site and the nurses delivered instead!

That turned out good because we were able to talk the nurses out of unnecessary interventions.  We turned down simple things like an IV that would basically tie Cassie to the bed and give the medical system an open port to deliver whatever chemicals and drugs they deem needed.  For instance they wanted to hydrate her immediately with an IV, I am sure they were expecting the 12 hour ordeal where she would be forbidden from drinking fluids.  Instead it was 3 hours and she wasn’t dehydrated.  She didn’t need pain medication.  She had a natural birth in a quick manner.


Cassie and Aeden Just After Birth

The hospital here in Puerto Rico is kind of a reflection of society here in general.  Lots of rules, some enforced and a lot not.  The security at the hospital was completely confused and not coordinated as well as the departments within.  Reception doesn’t talk to billing or administration and it makes it hard to navigate, especially for me because my Spanish isn’t great.  It was awesome to have our friend Missy here to stay with Cassie while I tried to navigate the maze of admissions.

Our Little Family

I luckily got her checked in and I returned to the delivery room so I was able to be there for the birth and to cut the umbilical cord!  We then opted to get a private room so that I (a man) could stay with her and the baby through the night.  This is not possible in a shared room, it is also usually not possible to have Missy and I with her during birth and they have a whole set of rules surrounding every aspect of this process but like I mentioned, some are enforced and most aren’t.  Finding out which ones are and why is just part of the frustrating process.  Sometimes challenging a rule is all that is needed.  It was also very strange how you have to bring your own lab work, your own paper work, your own files to the hospital with you along with your bed sheets and towels.  You are in charge of everything.

Cassie and Aeden in the Private Room

Recuperating After a Big Event

All in all it went as well as we could have done given the awkward circumstances of why we had to deliver at San Antonio with a doctor we had never met (more details on that later).  Cassie was able to deliver on her terms and quickly like she wanted with as little time in the hospital as possible.  We spent the mandatory 48 hours and then got out of there!!  We are now back at home and figuring out this crying and sleeping routine while Cassie heals from what is one of the craziest parts of life.
Victory!

Next week we begin the process of how to get a Social Security number and Birth Certificate in Puerto Rico.  Stay tuned more adventures ahead.

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Catching Up: Baby Shower and Out and About


Boqueron for my Birthday

Life sometimes just sweeps you down the river and you hardly have a chance to pop your head up out of the water. Life events (and death) and mostly this pregnancy has taken us down all sorts of strange and stressful paths that has led us to dropping some of the balls, including keeping this blog up. While I have a moment I thought I had better at least share a few catch up photos from the last month or so.


Near Wilderness in Aguadilla


Lighthouse ruins (Ponderosa) of Aguadilla


Fun baby shower

With very nice gifts


Including a cool henna design


Friends and neighbors at the baby shower!


Henna design stain


Hiking through our jungle for the photo shoot -notice there are still a lot of down trees in this section of the property


My belly is huge! And I am nearly cooked!


Cool tropical flowers


Strange bug -longhorn beetle I saw in Aguadilla


Britton hiking our jungle


A “Survivor”-style shack on the beach someone built


I’m now in my 9th month and ready (sort of) for baby!

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